I’m ornery. I noticed this is my default response to a lot of life’s disappointments. That was probably always true, but as I get older, I seem to notice them more. I started thinking the problem was the world is getting worse. I don’t think it is, I think the world is getting better. What gives?

First, a little about me. I am in my mid-forties. I’m not as effective as I’ll ever be, but I’m relatively effective in life.

I’m ornery because I can do something and I don’t. I can make changes, and I haven’t. It’s not the government or anyone out there that’s off, it’s me. It’s always been up to me to make a difference. I’ve noticed that in seasons of my life when I’m focusing on something important, I’m not ornery.

For me, the most-painful part of life is the disharmony. Can’t we all get along? That sounds naive, because it is, but it’s a fundamental emotion that I’ve always had. Work that creates harmony, that balances books or reports meaningful information or keeps a team of otherwise well-intentioned people from lighting a dumpster fire in their company–all of that is winning in my book.

Work that’s mission-centric, meaningful work, addresses my orneriness.