Notes Speaking

Ahrens tells us the value of a slip box method is it will talk back to us, or that the ideas organized in slips begin to offer new ideas to our imagination (Ahrens, 2017). It’s this beautiful interplay between memory and imagination, the past and the future, how memory and imagination build a bridge in shared ideas (Netflix, 2019). We don’t become robotic or mechanical, but we use mechanical support to concentrate and do a few things well.

In my experience, writing one slip at a time means I don’t exhaust myself after an hour or two of research, but I can work for eight, even ten hours in a day, and feel exhilarated from the challenge. I wake up the next day with fresh insights or questions. I can find old ideas quickly and combine them with fresh insights. If I get it wrong, it’s easy to review and fix any mistakes I’m making.

GraphQL Example

An example this morning is waking up to ideas about Aiyer’s summary of GraphQL clients. I had resisted putting something as temporary as a review of JavaScript libraries in my permanent slip collection, but I was avoiding making decisions about these libraries, so I processed the information in the usual way. This morning, I could see the whole picture. I sympathize for development teams who don’t want to own complex caching and networking configurations, but realize that the fetch libraries they invented stopped on the easy side of complexity. Apollo Boost wraps Apollo, provides an easy experience immediately, and provides more complicated features later if they’re needed. (Aiyer, 2018).

Finally relaxing about my GraphQL choices, I could see my project unfold, which queries I need to curate, how the information is flowing already, and how I will add other tools to the project eventually. This is a relief. The relief came after using many of the ideas I’ve been reviewing came together: the slip box method, imagination and memory working together, using sleep to reconstruct ideas, and breaking skills down into sub-skills so I can learn something rather than leaving my education up to chance.

Recreating Myself

I should explain why this is important to me. I worked at a company that used all of my time and energy and left a shadow of me on the wayside. I had as near a complete breakdown working for this company as I did during my divorce 15 years ago. I could no longer remember thoughts at the end of my sentences. I couldn’t control my emotions. I couldn’t sleep. I started to believe I was worthless and that I was a fraud. In an effort to grow at all costs, I was something they spent. I’ve had nightmares full of rage and terror for over a year. And the beat goes on. They’ve left me most probably more wealthy than I’d ever dreamed I would become, but took my wealth-making abilities with them.

So I’ve rebuilt myself. I figured out how to take down notes that meet all my requirements. I figured out how to keep references. I figured out which parts of my brain work in which ways. I figured out how to imagine again. I figured out how to rebuild skills and get myself going again, even with technologies that I learned years ago, but could no longer use confidently, like JavaScript.

I’m not done yet. I don’t feel like I’m as sharp as I ever was. I lack awareness and functionality. Memories of contempt from colleagues haunts me. Still, I get into flow states more easily, and I stay there longer. I have new ideas. I can usually concentrate and solve problems when they arise.

It’s Up to Me

What they did to me is an incomplete answer. Sure, they demanded things. They teased and lied. And I participated. A victim story is also a lie. If I can’t account for what took place and do something positive with that information, I’m denying my own role in my own life. These steps, as pedantic as they may seem, are empowering. I find joy in simple things. I enjoy quiet moments now.

The next step in my deliberate practice is mindful meditation. I don’t need justification to meditate, I’ve done it enough to know it’s kittens and down comforters, but I love that I have some good notes about meditation in my slip box. Hölzel and her colleagues introduced meditation to healthy adults. After just eight weeks, they found significant changes in the brain that effect learning, memory processing, emotion regulation, self-referential processing, and perspective taking. That’s my definition of kittens and down comforters.

What I’m describing, my journal entries and stepwise improvements, are similar to those who have done great things. Marcus Aurelius, Roman emperor from 161 to 180, wrote nightly in his journal about living a restrained, wise, and virtuous life. He wrote only for himself, but we have discovered and published his work as the Meditations (Kreiss, 2019). My practice may not be enough to do everything I want to do, but living with clarity, finding a way to access my memories, letting go of difficult situations, learning to concentrate and solve problems again, feels like great progress and great promise.

References:

Ahrens, S. (2017). How to Take Smart Notes: One Simple Technique to Boost Writing, Learning and Thinking for Students, Academics and Nonfiction Book Writers.

Aiyer, A. (2018, June 11). Exploring different GraphQL Clients. Retrieved September 16, 2019, from Medium website: https://medium.com/open-graphql/exploring-different-graphql-clients-d1bc69de305f

Hölzel, B. K., Carmody, J., Vangel, M., Congleton, C., Yerramsetti, S. M., Gard, T., & Lazar, S. W. (2011). Mindfulness practice leads to increases in regional brain gray matter density. Psychiatry Research, 191(1), 36–43. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.pscychresns.2010.08.006

Kreiss, T. (n.d.). Stoicism 101: An introduction to Stoicism, Stoic Philosophy and the Stoics. Retrieved July 11, 2019, from Holstee website: https://www.holstee.com/blogs/mindful-matter/stoicism-101-everything-you-wanted-to-know-about-stoicism-stoic-philosophy-and-the-stoics

Netflix. (2019, September 12). The Mind Explained. In Memory.